Life Balanced

Upon graduating from college many years ago, I went to numerous weddings that were attended by a few hundred of the bride and groom’s “closest” friends. I recently began wondering how many of those close friends they are still in touch with today.

Now that I’m older, I’ve come to realize that it is nearly impossible to have a couple dozen, let along hundreds of close friends. And similar to a marriage, friendships take a commitment of time and effort.

You may disagree with me and say that you have very close friendships with people you only see or speak with once every few years. And when you do see each other, it is as if no time has passed. These friends are likely people you’ve known for a very long time, previously saw often and who played an important role in your life. I too have friends like this.

Have you ever asked yourself why you aren’t keeping in better touch with them? If they are so important to you, why aren’t you making them a priority in your life or taking the time to nurture these relationships?

Make a list of the most important people in your life, outside your family. These might be people with whom you can be yourself a hundred percent of the time, they might have character traits you admire, or they might be someone who brings you closer to the person you want to be. They can live nearby or in different parts of the country. Maybe you met someone recently you would like to be a better friend with.

To have great friends you need to be a great friend.

Below I’ve listed eight things that we can all do to be a great friend. What are some of the ways you show your friends that you care?

1. Listen - You may give great advice and there will be times when someone will ask for it. But many times someone just needs a friend with whom they can talk to and share their thoughts and fears.
2. Honesty - It is nearly impossible to be friends with someone who is not trustworthy. Additionally, a good friend will call someone out and tell them the truth when they need to hear it. Noted: It is much better received when it’s done in a loving and thoughtful way.
3. Unconditional - Friends should know through your actions that you will be there for them through their highest highs and more importantly, through their lowest lows when they need you the most.
4. Authenticity - It is very difficult to develop a close relationship with someone who is always talking about how great things are and how wonderful their life is - no one has the perfect life! People are drawn to those they can relate to and connect with, those who also feel comfortable sharing some of their own fears and vulnerabilities.
5. Time - It doesn’t matter if it is on the phone or in person, do you make time for your close friends?
6. Empathy - Making a sincere effort to try and understand where a friend is coming from or what they are going through is a true demonstration of compassion - especially when they know that you don’t necessarily agree.
7. Encouragement - We could all use a cheerleader who will stand by our side and give us encouragement when others say it can’t be done or it’s not a good idea.
8. Generosity - When a good friend calls you and says they need your help, the best response you can give them is, “Sure, how can I help you?” It shouldn’t be, “What now?” or “Why?” or “Tell me what you want first.”

I would love to hear some of your thoughts on the subject!

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